


I Never

by conceptofzero



Series: Never Have I Ever [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-30
Updated: 2011-07-30
Packaged: 2017-10-22 00:10:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/231454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/conceptofzero/pseuds/conceptofzero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crowbar really shouldn't have agreed to this, but it was hard to say no. It was (in theory) meant to stay out of the sexual territory it had ventured into last time. Of course, it didn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Never

Crowbar really shouldn't have agreed to this, but it was hard to say no. Two games of Never Had I Ever had left him up and down a girlfriend, and with Itchy insisting that they not ask questions they'd already covered last time, it was (in theory) meant to stay out of the sexual territory it had ventured into last time.

"Never have I ever played soggy biscuit," Matchsticks starts into the really awful sex questions right off the bat, not even giving everyone a chance to settle into the game. The bastard's just set the tone for the whole night and Crowbar regards him with the most unimpressed look he can manage.

"Soggy biscuit?" Snowman turns to Crowbar for a definition, but he just shakes his head, not even wanting to touch that can of worms. Luckily, when she sees Itchy slam his shot back, she changes her mind. "Nevermind, I don't want to know."

"That's fucking nasty Itchy," Trace pulls a face.

"Oh you have no idea. This is a story that needs to be told-" The look on his face says it all.

"No, it really doesn't," Crowbar tries to steer it away from him. "Doze-"

"Soggy biscuit, for those of you pussies who don't know, is when you and a bunch of guys circlejerk onto a biscuit. Last man to finish has to eat it," Itchy immediately starts leaning into Trace's space, already picking up on how uncomfortable he is. "I was thirteen, and I'd tagged along with my brothers to this party where everyone got right pissed, and then Krrak brings out the biscuits-"

“Oh god shut up, shut up shut up,” Trace clamps his hands over his ears but it’s not doing any good, not when Itchy is right up in his space, leaning in and speaking directly into his ears.

"-so there I am, in the circle with all these older boys, all of us desperately jerking it for our dear lives. I’m doing everything I can not to look at them or my fucking brothers. My eyes are staying planted directly on that biscuit and I am trying so hard to pretend that biscuit is the sexiest thing I’ve seen all day,” For as horrible as this story it, it couldn’t be any more obvious that Itchy’s enjoying himself. The whole table is squirming uncomfortably, trying hard not to listen to the details, but unable to completely tune out Itchy’s nattering. “And even though I could get it up to anything else – swear to god, anything else – I’m flagging here. I mean, my boner is more like a noodle, but I keep stroking it anyway-”

“Shut up shut uuup!” The hands clamp down even tighter but all it does is encourage Itchy even more. The rest of the table is smart enough not to draw attention to themselves, but the general tone is one of horror, and maybe some sick fascination.

“The first boy comes, then the second, then the one after that, and there’s eight of us all crowded in tight, hip to hip, and when the forth one, my brother, when he finishes all I can think is ‘don’t you dare let me be the last one’,” He’s damn near in Trace’s lap as he recounts the tale. "I start imagining this biscuit has tits on it, great big honking Snowman-sized tits-"

"Leave my breasts out of this," Snowman warns him. It's going to be the only warning he gets.

Itchy seems to take this into consideration, amending his statement. "Fine, great big cantaloupes of tits, the kind you could motorboat all day. I am just dreaming of these when I see my brother spew all over that cracker and that's when I know that I have to finish immediately or I am going to be fucked beyond fucked."

"I can't believe I'm actually hoping you came first. You disgusting little prick," Matchsticks sounds almost amazed.

Itchy makes a jerking motion, making sure his hand bumps into Trace. "I am pumping it as fast as I can. I can actually feel myself rubbing raw, it's fucking awful. And then I get it, this one glorious image of my eighth grade teacher bent over her own desk, her plump ass just pointed straight at me-"

"Hey we do that!" Eggs interrupts the story, pointing at Itchy's hand. Everyone ignores him for their own sanity.

"And I just blow my load fucking all over everywhere. The biscuit, and the boys, and the floor, and everything. I just turn into this cum volcano," Trace gives a full body shudder, shoving Itchy off of him as Itchy really does climb into Trace's lap. "I couldn't jerk it for a week after that, my balls were just empty. It was worth it though. Finished just before my other brother."

"He didn't-" Crowbar can't stop the disgusted look that comes over his face when Itchy nods. He can't fathom the thought of doing something so horrifying with any of his sisters.

"They called him soggy for the rest of high school. Now that's a name you don't live down," Itchy finally fills his shot glass up again, raising it in the air. "Now how about we toast me and my amazing libido."

Everyone glances at Snowman for a reaction. She pulls her cigarette away from her mouth. "You are foul."

"Thank you," He grins and knocks it back. "My turn! Never have I ever been caught jerking it in public!”

Unsurprisingly, Trace tips his shot back, receiving a snort from Fin. "You're predictable."

“Fuck you, drink your fucking shot too,” Trace gives Itchy the finger while filling his glass up, making sure Fin takes his own shot. "Itchy, you're a fucking liar. You're exactly the kind of creep to rub one out in public."

"Yeah, sure, but I never got caught," Itchy puts an arm around Trace's shoulders, ignoring the attempted elbows to the ribs. "So, both of you? You want to share the details?"

Fin shrugs. "Rubbed one out in a car while I was doing a stakeout. The cop came along and thought I was just a pervert instead of a mobster."

Trace mumbles something. Another prod from Itchy. "Louder! Share with the whole class!"

"-side of a girl's window," He mumbles and there's an assortment of snorting and laughter. "Fuck all of you-"

"You're the peeping tom, not us," Die looks happy that, for once, it's not focused on him. "Was she pretty at least?"

"I bet she had a huge ass. You're totally the kind of guy who gets his crank going at wide asses," Itchy finally back off when Trace slams that elbow home and he pulls back, gasping in air again. "H-hah! O-or maybe you prefer-"

"Never have I ever cried before, during, or after sex," Trace quickly blurts out, talking over whatever Itchy's trying to say. There are actually two shots taken, one by Die and the other by Clover. "Okay, Die I can see, but Clover?"

"I paid a prostitute to help me lose my virginity, but I just jizzed in my pants in the first five minutes and spent the rest crying!" Clover is surprisingly cheerful about it, but then again, he is sitting in Can's lap, so that's probably why it doesn't bother him. "What about yooou Die?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Die mutters, sinking even further down than usual, his shoulders rising higher up. It's like they're about to swallow him whole.

"Die, the whole point of this game is to overshare. Don't be a fucking wimp. Tell us about about the time your girlfriend fucked you in the ass with a strap-on," Itchy cackles when Die's head jerks up suddenly. "Hahaha, I knew it-"

"That's not it at all-" Die goes for the doll, but Crowbar stops him. He's never going to get any respect if he keeps running out the door the moment anything goes wrong. Die huffs. "I had a really bad trip and I thought- ... I thought her vagina was... trying to..." He makes an eating gesture.

Matchsticks snorts, not phased at all by the dirty look Die gives him. "I've seen plenty of cunts, but none of them had teeth inside of them. None of 'em, except Itchy."

Itchy grins, showing off his teeth. "Fucking straight. Who's going?"

"Never have I ever sucked someone's dick!" Clover says and takes a shot, tittering like an idiot. There are a few other embarrassed shots from around the table, Cans an unremarked on red, Quarters and Fin both slamming their shots back as quickly as they can. Snowman's doesn't go unnoticed. "Ooooh Snowman!"

"What the fuck, you said you were a virgin! Never Have I Ever is a sacred bond of trust! You have to tell the truth!" Itchy's angrier than Crowbar can actually remember, and it doesn't even seem to be an act. Snowman just shakes her head and he gets even angrier. "Fuck you, it is!"

"I answered both questions truthfully," Snowman points out what Itchy's forgotten about. "It's been two months since we played the first game."

The whole table looks at her. The whole table, except Crowbar, who has to struggle to keep a straight face. Itchy notices though, his eyes wandering off of her and right onto him. "You son of a bitch-"

"You seem especially red," Snowman says to Fin and all the eyes swing from her over to him. He does seem more embarrassed than usual. "Do you have a story?"

"He does! Spill the fucking beans! Whose cock are you all worked up about? Your first one?" Itchy tries to put his arm around Trace again. "Just imagine it, all the nostalgia!"

"Get off!" Trace shoves Itchy into Doze. Doze just blinks owlishly, slowly dragging himself upright. "Just fucking tell the story Fin."

"You're all assholes," Fin grumbles, but when nobody stops looking at him, he reluctantly spits it out. "I once blew a guy to pay off part of my gambling debt."

"Oh that's nothing. I once fucked this little old lady for gas money," Itchy waves it aside like it's no big deal. "And she was a wildcat in the sack! I went back a couple of times, gave her a few freebies."

"Snowman's right. You're foul," Stitch shakes his head. "Never have I ever cheated on anyone I was seeing."

Repeat! Go again!" Itchy twirls his fingers in the air. "And take a shot for unoriginal questions!"

"Go piss up a rope you little shit," Stitch grows out, taking his shot. He fills his glass again. "Never have I ever- wait until I finish the damn question!"

Eggs stops, his shot halfway to his mouth. Biscuits does no such thing, tipping it straight down his throat. He belches and slides his glass out. "I'm empty." Eggs glances at Biscuits' glass and does the same, sliding his own towards Stitch.

"Playing I Never with you idiots is like playing fetch with a one-legged dog," Itchy takes the bottle from Stitch and fills their glasses up anyway. "We should skip the questions and go right for the worst stories. Stitch!"

"No, fucking no, I don't want to hear that story again," Trace clamps his hands over his ears.

"Itchy, get back to the game. Stitch, don't tell that story again," Crowbar's heard the story of how Stitch got the scar on his cock once. Once was enough for a lifetime. The sentiment seems to have been shared by all.

"Make it a real good disgusting medical story question then!" Itchy leans over the table to prod at Stitch and gets yanked back into place before he can.

Stitch blatantly ignores him. "Never have I ever slept with someone three times my age."

"You're just fucking jealous, all of you," Itchy takes his shot with an absurd amount of pride, then makes a disgustingly gleeful noise when Doze does the same. "Doze! Finally, someone to back me up! Grandmothers know how to fuck."

"Itchy..." Doze fiddles with his glass. "I actually liked her..."

"So did I! That's why I kept fucking her!" Itchy beams as he fills his glass back up. "Let me tell you, there is nothing like a woman who's given birth multiple times. She really knows how to clench around you-"

"Never have I ever let somebody tie me up during sex," Fin interrupts. Crowbar takes his shot, rolling his eyes at the inevitable catcalls. At least he's not alone. Die takes a shot too, same with Itchy. Of course, Crowbar's the one who takes shit this time. "Seriously? I can see these two freaks like that-"

"Hey!" Die protested but was quickly ignored.

"-But you?" Fin shook his head.

"If you can't see the appeal of a woman tying you up and riding you, then there's nothing I can do for you," Crowbar fills his shot glass up, getting on the offensive immediately. The worst thing he could do right now is get embarrassed and let these assholes speculate about exactly what sort of tied-up Crowbar really enjoys. "Of course, maybe you'd prefer it if it was a man tying you up-"

"Go fuck yourself," Fin sneers but from the titters around them, the tide's turned again.

"Never have ever crossdressed," Crowbar finally settles on a question, and over half the table drinks. He raises his eyebrows. That was unexpected. Itchy and Die, not so much, but it seems Clover, Trace, Doze, Biscuits, and most surprisingly Cans, have all dressed up at one time or another. "Well now."

"Don't knock it until you try it," Trace passes the bottle around. "I had this girlfriend who used to like it when we'd swap clothes-"

"Hahaha, girlfriend my ass!" Itchy once again gets up in Trace's space. "You totally broke into some poor girl's house and dressed up in her clothes. Did you jerk it right into the underwear drawer?"

"I am going to fucking murder you!" Trace punches Itchy in the gut, and gets a few from Itchy in return.

"Itchy, cool it. You don't shut that down, and I'll shut this whole game down," Crowbar knows a regular threat won't do a damn, but getting the rest of the Felt pissed at him will usually accomplish something.

"Fine, fucking baby," Itchy lets go of Trace, giving Doze a poke. "Dresses huh? Maybe I'll put you in stockings one of these days. You've got the legs for them."

"Itchy, don't," Doze scowls, holding his drink close to his chest. "Never have I ever had someone find my porn collection."

"That's a sign yours isn't big enough," Itchy takes his shot, along with Quarters and Die, though he ignores them to fixate on Snowman. "You can't do that, now I want to know exactly what you collect. You like a little green on black?"

"I think my preferences are none of your business," Snowman is cool as a cucumber, just as usual. She taps her ashes into the tin cup in the middle of the table. "My collection was nearly complete before I was exiled. However, someone kept stealing pieces from it." The tone of voice she uses says she knows exactly who it was.

"Never have I ever tried to suck my own dick," Quarters says, or gets mostly out before Itchy stands up and points at him.

"Liar! Fucking liar! Every man alive has tried that shit!" Itchy takes his shot, then reaches out and takes Doze's shot too. He reaches for Trace's as well, but Trace beats him to it, slamming that back first. "Hey fuck you-"

"I haven't fucking tried it," Quarters looks around at everyone, frowning when nearly everyone else takes a drink. He looks at Crowbar. "Seriously?"

Crowbar shrugs, taking the now empty bottle of gin off the table and opening up the second one. It probably wasn't a good sign they were already starting a brand new bottle, but with questions like this, it was hard not to tear through the bottle. "I was a teenager. I would have tried anything."

"I almost did it once. Had to lie upside down and tie my legs to my bedposts, but I nearly had it," Itchy holds up his fingers, holding them an inch apart. "If my tongue was just an inch longer-"

"Don't- no really, don't-" Trace squeezes his eyes shut, shaking his head to get rid of the mental image.

"I used to be able to do it," Sawbuck says quietly, going a bit red when everyone looks at him. "When I was much younger, and thinner."

"I fucking hate you. I fucking hate you so much," Itchy shakes his head, the most unimpressed look on his face. "You and your big dick, and your fucking bitches and threesomes and all this other shit. I fucking hate you so fucking much."

"You don't have to be rude about it," Sawbuck turns the glass between his fingers. "Never have I ever had somebody slap me during sex."

"I told this girl that her tits were lopsided and she fucking smacked me hard, right across the cheek. But they were fucking lopsided. It was so distracting," Itchy takes his shot. Crowbar and Die do the same. "So what did you assholes do?"

"Um. S-she was just. That kind of girl," Die awkwardly mumbles, quickly filling up his shot glass. "Crowbar?"

"Let my smart mouth run ahead of me during sex, got what I deserved," He shrugs, careful not to mention the part where he was only running his mouth to deserve getting slapped. Just because you're sharing your fetishes doesn't mean you have to share all the details. Still, it seems Snowman picks up on the subtext when she raises one eyebrow and fixes him with that we'll-talk-about-this-later expression that usually pays off in dividend for him. For a woman who was a virgin all of two months ago, she's certainly catching up on everything she missed out on. "Snowman?"

She taps her fingers on the table, a smile sliding over her features as she settles on a question. "Never have I ever failed to get off."

"Fucking braggart, just you fucking wait. It's going to happen to you one of these days," Itchy takes another shot, his words starting to slur over one another. "Fucking happens to everyone."

Indeed, most of the table drank. It was quicker to count the exceptions: Sawbuck, Snowman and Cans. Itchy pointed at all of them, fixing them with an evil eye, but especially Sawbuck. Matchsticks seems similarly unimpressed. "Clover's supposed to be the lucky one, what's your excuse?"

"I don't know. I guess I'm just good with girls and kinda lucky," He shrugs, and it's only Crowbar's quick reflexes that keep Sawbuck from getting punched into next week. Sawbuck quickly changes the subject. "Um. Never have I ever been fucked in the ass."

"Fuck you, I can't drink to this one," Itchy gripes, though his eyes rapidly swing around the table to see who drinks. There are no real surprises here: Fin, Quarters, Clover, Stitch, Cans, and Die – who by this point is starting to look greener than usual. Of course, it still gives Itchy plenty of fuel for the fire, focusing this time on Clover. "Okay, how the fuck do you and him have sex without him splitting you wide open? His dick is the size of you!"

"Who ever said he used his dick?" Clover titters and Cans goes bright red. The table breaks out into laughter, and even Crowbar can't help it, stifling a snort behind his hand. Clover's all too eager to overshare. "Oh you can't even imagine what he does-"

"Never have I ever touched myself while thinking of Snowman," Cans snaps, his face still bright red. As quickly as the laughter came, quiet descends over the table again. One by one, everyone except Cans takes their shot with varying levels of shame. Crowbar pats her knee by way of apology as he takes his own shot.

Snowman fixes them all with the most unimpressed look she can muster. "That was an answer I would have rather not known."

"Oh don't get your panties in a twist, you're the only thing with a pair of tits for miles, it's natural you'd spring to mind. I've jerked off to more desperate mental images too," Itchy points a finger at her. "Like my fifth-grade teacher, god what a woman. Her face looked like it had lost a fight with a brick wall-"

"I wanna ask something," Eggs interrupts, his eyes darting around. "It's my turn I wanna ask something."

"Then ask something you idiot," Itchy snaps his fingers. "Ask something like- oh! Say 'Never have I ever jerked it thinking about somebody in this room who isn't Snowman!"

"But I-" Eggs starts, and there's a murmur of disapproval from the others, but it's quickly blotted out by Itchy.

"No you haven't, you're too fucking stupid to think!" Itchy prods him. "Say it!"

"Never have I ever jerked it thinking about somebody in this room who isn't Snowman," Eggs says, pauses, and then takes his shot. Biscuits is right on his heels. Crowbar's a little shocked by just how many people do drink, only himself, Sawbuck and Matchsticks excluded.

"You bunch of fairies," Matchsticks shakes his head.

"Sometimes, I like to think about what you'd all look like a women," Itchy gleeful shares with the group. He's really enjoying this too much. He's also drunker than he has any right to be, and that's encouraging him to share too much. "Then I think about coming all over your tits. Especially yours, Doze. You'd have fucking great tits."

"W-what?" Doze stares at Itchy with horror on his face.

"They've be so fucking lovely," He mimes having breasts on his chest, grinning lopsidedly at Doze. "What? What do you think about when you're jacking off? How much you want to suck my cock? It's alright, I understand, I'd find it hard to resist me too. ... hahaha HARD to resist-"

"They get it, very amusing," Crowbar cuts him off before he can really get into it. He prompts Biscuits to take his turn. "Give it a go Biscuits."

"Never have I ever jerked it thinkin'-" He starts into it, only to be punched by Eggs. "Hey!"

"That's my question! Get yer own!" Eggs demands. Biscuits punches him back. "Ow!"

He hauls off and hits Biscuits, who gives an "Ow!" of his own. Just as it's about to escalate into all-out war, Crowbar motions for Matchsticks to get in between them. He does so begrudgingly, taking a shot just to make it more tolerable. "Just ask a fucking question."

"Um. Uh. Um," Biscuits looks down at his drink and up at everyone again, then reluctantly puts forward. "Never have I ever.... kissed a pretty girl."

There's silence from around the table. Biscuits fiddles with his shot glass. This has suddenly turned from hilarious to the point of disgust back to sad. Crowbar ends up glancing over at Snowman, and slowly the rest of the Felt do too. She blinks with confusion until it finally sets in. "No."

"Oh come on, you're the only one here with tits!" Itchy gestures to Biscuits. "You're going to say no to that face? That dopey, vacant face?" He scrabbles down to the end of the table, taking hold of Biscuits' face and making it move, talking in a falsetto. "Snowman, I just want one kiss so I'm not such a pathetic failure!"

"Hey!" Biscuits smacks Itchy and Itchy just falls over, landing on his ass. "That's my face!"

Crowbar glances over at Snowman. "... you know-"

"No," She cuts him off.

Sawbuck suddenly laughs, giving Snowman a bit of a clever smile. "Which pretty girl did you kiss?"

"That's fucking right, she didn't drink!" Itchy bolts up off the floor. "Did she have great big honking-"

"Drop it," She taps her cigarette holder on the table menacingly. It works and they do drop it, but only because everyone is well aware that Snowman will stab someone with it. It won't even be the first time if she does.

"Hey, hey you didn't drink," Itchy zips around behind Die, prodding him in the back. "Take your fucking shot. Take it."

"I've kissed- I've kissed pretty girls!" Die sounds outright offended, slapping Itchy's hands away. "I've-"

"You haven't done shit," Itchy leans all over Die. "You're a big ol' queer. You want to suck my dick? You and Doze can take turns, it'll be fucking grand-"

Die smacks Itchy as hard as he can in the head. He turns around, shoulders hunching in on themselves. "Are we done?"

"Ask the last fucking question. Then you can go cry in the corner if you want," Stitch growls out.

"Fine," Die looks around the table. "Never have I ever slept with a member of the Midnight Crew."

Even as the heads swing around to look at Snowman, she's already giving them the evil eye. "Not even if he was the last living being in the universe."

"Are you sure? Because sometimes-" Trace's speculation ends quickly and abruptly when she slams her lance down beside his hand. He yanks his back and shuts his mouth quickly. Crowbar gives her knee a pat, not sure if it'll calm her down. The glare she gives him says everything and he withdraws it.

While Snowman yanks her cigarette holder out of the table, Stitch attempts to covertly take his shot. But there's no way to make drinking to that question covert on any level, and there are a dozen "What-" "What the fuck!" "You're kidding!"s from around the table.

"He's sleeping with Diamonds Droog," Die says, a bit over-dramatically. He wobbles too, clutching at his own glass. "And he's been sleeping with him in every single universe."

"Next time Slick cuts you up, I'm going to take my sweet time getting around to your effigy," Stitch eyes Die with an unrestrained loathing. "Maybe I'll just let you bleed out wherever the hell you are."

"Stitch," Crowbar tries not to sound completely pissed, but it leaks through. "I don't remember if it was covered when you signed up, but fucking Lord English's enemies wasn't part of the job description."

"Fucking with them was!" Itchy helpfully points out from where he's lying on the floor.

"As I recall, the only thing covered was that we'd do whatever Lord English commanded us to do. Nothing was said about who we could and couldn't fuck," Stitch isn't backing down, standing his ground over this. "And that's all it is; fucking. We don't talk shop when we're together."

"Do you let him stick it in you?" Fin leans forward, clearly fascinated. "How do the ridges feel?"

"They're not as hard as they look," Die says, and goes bright red when he realizes he's spoken outloud. "Oh god."

"Did'ja let the little one fuck you in the ass?" Itchy slurs. "Did'ja need a step stool-" Itchy promptly throws up on the floor, ending that line of speculation. Everyone gets the hell away from him, scrambling out of the table.

"Okay, game over," Crowbar grabs the gin bottle, keeping it out of everyone else's hands. "Everybody get the hell out of here and hit the sack."

"I can keep going-" Itchy mumbles, only to follow it up with another heave.

"I need to get out of here or I'm going to puke," Sawbuck trundles towards the door, followed by most of the others.

Crowbar heads into the kitchen, grabbing a bucket from under the sink. He sets it by Itchy's head, careful to avoid the puddle of partly digested liquor. "Try aiming into here instead of all over Scratch's floor."

"Fuck him, I'm gonna york where I want," Itchy grabs hold of the bucket, pressing it up against his chest. Crowbar looks at the mess and shrugs, leaving Itchy to pass out in peace. Better he throw up on the tile than on the carpets.

Snowman's still waiting around, and oddly enough, so's Die, who is too drunk for his own good. He grabs onto Crowbar's shirt, leaning in way too close. "Crowbar, Stitch isn't going to fix me up anymore."

"Well maybe you should have thought about that before you ratted him out in front of the group," Crowbar glances up at Snowman over Die's shoulder. She simply knocks her shot.

"But you can tell him he has to," Die's hands clutch tighter. "Right? Because what if the Crew shows up when we're all drunk now and I get hurt and he just-"

"He'll fix you up. He's pissed, but he's not going to get you killed," Crowbar tries to reason with Die, but there's no reasoning with him, not when he's got nearly fourteen shots of gin in him. Honestly, Crowbar's a bit amazed that it's Itchy throwing up on the floor instead of Die. "Sleep this off and go apologize in the morning."

"You won't get him in too much trouble with Doc will you?" Die's hands are really starting to get sort of inappropriate over here. Crowbar gets his own hands on Die and carefully pushes him an arm's length away. "Crowbar-"

"I think what happens between me and Stitch isn't any of your business now. Just deal with it from your end," Crowbar steers Die towards the door. "Talk to him tomorrow, when you're sober."

"Go suck his cock, that'll make him like you again," Itchy slurs out, still awake despite all odds. "You're dying for it anyway."

"I- fuck you!" Die crosses his arms over his chest, his cheeks red. "You're an asshole Itchy."

Itchy mimes sloppily blowing someone and Crowbar has to put a hand on Die to push him out of the door so he doesn't do anything stupid. "Go to bed. Itchy, aim for the bucket."

"Fuck you dad," Itchy slurs out, not moving a muscle. Crowbar leaves him lying on the floor and heads upstairs, Snowman by his arm. Die stumbles off in front of them, ducking into his own room.

Crowbar stops in front of his door, glancing back at her and giving Snowman a nod. "Night."

"Night," She nods back and heads off to her room. Crowbar steps into his own, stripping his jacket off and stepping out of his shoes. He's just starting on his shirt when Snowman fades in. She's still wearing that slinky dress of hers and he can't wait to strip her out of it.

Their... 'relationship' isn't something they're advertising. It seems best to keep things quiet. Plus, Crowbar isn't entirely certain what they are to each other. He likes her a lot, and he really likes having sex with her. Crowbar's assuming it's mutual since she keeps coming over here nearly every night, but he doesn't want to ask, just in case he ruins whatever this is.

He drops his hands from the shirt, putting his hands on her hips and tugging her in close. "So, want to cross a few more things off of the list?"

"Maybe," She leans in close. "So, you like being tied up and slapped?"

Crowbar pauses, half embarrassed, but half aroused just thinking about it. "Well... it's... a bit complicated. Not always the slapping part but..."

Her fingers find the buttons on his shirt, undoing the few remaining at the bottom. She pushes his shirt back onto his arms, but rather than take his shirt off, she just gets a hold of the sleeves and carefully wraps them around his arms, tying them tight. Crowbar's breathing gets a bit shuddery, even before her hand slides over the front of his trousers, her touch more than enough to get him hard. She just smirks at him, her fingers rubbing over his cock. "What was it you said... 'the appeal of a woman tying you up and riding you'?"

"Sounds about right," He lets her guide him back towards the bed, happy to let Snowman take the lead. Crowbar's legs hit the back of the bed and he just sits down, watching with interest as she unbuckles his belt and gets to work unbuttoning his fly. Her fingers slip into his pants and he groans as they wrap around his cock. "Fuck, Snowman."

She strokes him slowly as she draws him out, leans in close and kisses him. Her mouth tastes like gin, and he's fairly sure his does too. Snowman's free hand wraps around the back of his head, holding him close as they kiss. She's always been assertive, but the more they do this, the more assertive she gets, and the more he likes it. As if she's reading his mind, she bites at his lower lip hard enough to make him shudder. "Mmm. What else do you like?"

"You," It's the first thing that comes to mind and he's just drunk enough to say it. She pauses for a second, then starts stroking him a bit faster. He racks his brains for other answers so they don't linger to much on this one. "I. Like this. Some light restraints. Sometimes a bit of roughness. Maybe a gag."

"A gag?" Snowman raises her eyebrows, her thumb rubbing over the head of his cock. Crowbar nods, even as her hand leaves the back of his head and slides around to the front. He opens his mouth when she presses three fingers into it up to the knuckle. It's uncomfortable but in a way that makes him harder. "Well now. Isn't that interesting."

She slips her fingers out, wiping them off on the bed, and slides out of her dress, dropping it to the floor. Her underthings follow until she's standing naked in front of him, sleek and gorgeous, and utterly untouchable. Crowbar lets his eyes sweep up and down her body. He's never going to get tired of this, no matter how many times he sees her naked. "God... you're so beautiful."

"You say that every time," She reminds him, shoving his hips further back on the bed as she crawls into his lap. Snowman slowly sinks down onto his cock, experienced enough to not feel cautious or hesitant anymore. Crowbar sets his back against the wall so he stays upright with his arms tied tightly behind him. All he can do is watch as she slowly begins to rock on him, her cunt so hot and wet and squeezing him perfectly. Snowman smiles as she moves her hips, breasts slowly swaying as she gets into it. "You look quite nice yourself. You should have told me you liked this earlier."

"I don't like to be pushy," He keeps up with the conversation since it's easier than thinking about how much he wants to touch her now that he can't. Her arms rest on his shoulders as she rides him, that sweet cunt of hers sliding up and down his shaft with each forward motion. "And I wasn't sure you'd appreciate me asking. Some women don't."

"Some women do," She points out, grinding down against him. Crowbar can tell the exact moment she's found the sweet spot because of how she sighs with relief and repeats the gesture. "Mmm... think you can hold off?"

"I'll wait until you've had your fun," It's going to be hard, but Crowbar figures he can manage. He can probably talk her into sitting on his face if he gets too close to the edge. There's something they haven't tried yet, at least, not like this.

"Such a good boy," She keeps moving at her own pace and at her own angle, rocking her hips down. Crowbar just watches her closely, taking in every last detail of her. As she moves, he can see her face getting flushed, the dark carapace lightening here and there as blood flows into it, and he can feel her tightening ever so slowly around him, clenching carefully. Her hands stay on his chest, rubbing over his skin and making him all too aware of how close her breasts are to rubbing up against him.

He tilts his mouth up and she smiles, leaning in slowly. Snowman's lips barely graze his, teasing him ever so slightly. She's already figuring out exactly what he likes, and if he wasn't so aroused, he might be a little worried that she's finding his buttons so effortlessly. "What else do you want to cross off the list tonight?"

"Well..." Her eyes slide over to his closet, and to the racks of neatly hung up clothes. Crowbar gets an image of her in his suits and groans softly. Snowman grins, her hips steadily rocking down against him. "And my dress should fit you..."

"Fuck. That's good," Crowbar doesn't have any real interest in crossdressing, but for her, he's willing to do damn near anything. And there's no way she won't look good in a suit. He kisses her right on the mouth, his lips moving lazily against hers even as her hips start to speed up. She's already getting close judging by how quickly she's breathing, and by how she's clenching quicker around him. As they pull apart to breath, he coaxes her on. "You're almost there, I can feel you. Come on."

"Aren't I the one who's in charge?" She reminds him, but there's no heat in her voice. Snowman's just on the edge, her eyes already going half-lid as things start to spike. She's always so quiet and he watches she presses her lips tight, gasps and moans turning into soft whimpers that die in her mouth. Her cunt clenches as she comes and her hands hold tight onto Crowbar as her hips jerkily work their way through the orgasm. He has to close his eyes and think of bank diagrams and heist plans to keep from doing anything dumb and coming with her.

Snowman's just coming down from it when the door swings open. Die just steps in like everything's normal, not even really paying attention as he lets the door shut behind him. "Crowbar, I tried to apologize to Stitch but-" He stops talking when he looks over and realizes he's interrupting something.

"Die! Get out!" Crowbar snaps at him, unable to do a damn thing while he's tied up and held in place by Snowman, his back stuck against the wall. She's still dopey from coming and she barely manages to grab onto his blanket, yanking it mostly off the bed and holding it up over her breasts.

"Oh god oh god I'm sorry," Die brings a hand up to his face, holding it half over his eyes so he's still looking at Crowbar's face, but presumably not at Snowman. And of course, he doesn't leave. "I just. You need to make Stitch-"

"Get the fuck out!" Crowbar tries again, barely keeping from shouting at Die. The last thing he needs is the whole house waking up and trying to barge in on this. They're all just drunk enough that he knows they will if they have even the vaguest idea of what's happening.

"B-but I just need you to-" Die pauses and his hand dips just a little, finally recognizing exactly what's going on. "Wait. You're... oh. Oh! Oh god."

Snowman clutches the blanket tighter. "Die. Leave. Now."

Die just stares at them. Crowbar can't tell if he's in shock or if he's too drunk to care, or what exactly is going on. His hand is still held up to his face, and he's half-dressed, stripped down to his trousers. There's something about this that's throwing Crowbar off, something obvious...

"You just came from talking to Stitch?" He asks. Die nods. Crowbar glances at Die's bare chest. "Where's your shirt?"

"I. It's. Crowbar," Die walks into the room, sitting beside them on the bed. Crowbar is still buried inside of Snowman, who is barely covered up with the blanket, but Die doesn't seem to care. "I. I thought m-maybe I needed to make it up to him. So. I went into his room and-"

"And you tried to sleep with him. For fuck's sake," Crowbar would pinch the bridge of his nose if he had a hand free. Instead, he settled for smacking his forehead lightly against Snowman's collarbone. "You can't solve your problems by sleeping with them."

"If Droog finds out what you attempted to do, he's going to come after you," Snowman warns him, still fiddling with the blanket to cover up more of herself. Die's eyes go wide with fear and they both sigh a little. It's astonishing. Die's one of the best hitmen they have, always able to get the job done and able to get it done right. But as soon as the gun's out of his hand, he loses all self-confidence and turns into an insecure wreck. The alcohol is really not helping his already low self-esteem, or his unawareness of boundaries.

"I'll talk to Stitch in the morning and see what I can do. Just... steer clear of him for a while. Give him some space," Crowbar had planned on talking with Stitch anyway about this fucking-Droog business, it won't be hard to piggyback this onto the conversation. Die's shoulders sag with relief. "You have to stop digging holes for yourself." Crowbar can't believe they're having this fucking conversation right now. This is officially the very last time he plays Never Have I Ever. Too much fucking gin makes the most absurd things seem normal.

"I know, I know," Die scoots in closer. Crowbar is a bit uncomfortably aware of Die's presence. It's only his own shots keeping him from flipping out on Die, and the bit where he's tied up. Die glances at Snowman and then at Crowbar again. "Um... so... you two-"

"Die. We're in the middle of fucking," Testy doesn't even begin to cover the tone of Crowbar's voice. "This wait until morning."

Snowman shifts uncomfortably and then gets off of Crowbar. "Sorry, but."

"It's alright," The last thing he wants to do is hurt her in anyway. Though it would be nice if she would spare some of the blanket for his lap. As it stands, she's got it wrapped around her front, and his cock is just jutting out, wet and hard for everyone to see. Die's eyes go right to it, only pulling away as Crowbar addresses him directly. "Die. Go. To. Your. Room."

"I. I should really make this up to you. I mean. I interrupted and I'm sorry about that but. but I can help, if you want, I can make it better," He glances at both of them, and just as Crowbar realizes where Die's going with this, Die gets down on his knees in front of Crowbar. "Please? I can... I can make it up to both of you. I'll do anything you want."

Crowbar should say no. The words 'no' are right on his lips, ready to come out. Except his eyes look down at Die kneeling right there in his lap, and... they get stuck. He's not queer, nothing of the sort at all, or at least, he was fairly certain there wasn't any of that in him, right up until the moment Die got down on his knees. Crowbar glances over at Snowman, looking for her to take the lead. But she looks similarly fascinated.

They haven't talked much about what they have, only that it's something they both like. Crowbar's been wondering how serious it is for her. And even more than that, he's been feeling a bit bad. He's the first man she's ever slept with, and to date, the only man. If this becomes something more, something serious, then he might be the only man she ever sleeps with. Something about that just doesn't seem right or fair to him, and there's another part of him that thinks it's a bad idea altogether. For all the troubles he had with his own marriage, the fact that they'd both slept around ahead of time had been one of the few things they'd gotten right. They both knew what they liked and didn't like, and there had been no bitterness about a lack of opportunities. The last thing Crowbar wants is to deny Snowman any of that, only to have it surface later and have him lose her completely.

Die's eyes quickly dart between them and he sets his hands on Crowbar's thighs. "That's... that's not a no... so." He waits another second to make sure he isn't told to get out. Crowbar can't bring himself to quite say yes either, but he does manage to spread his legs, giving a non-verbal yes. Die doesn't hesitate, he slips his mouth right over Crowbar's cock in less than a second.

"Fuck!" Crowbar isn't prepared for this. He's been slowly teaching Snowman how to blow him, making sure not to go too fast or too rough, always pulling her off before he comes, always being as careful and respectful as he can. Die's not interested in any of those. His head bobs up and down quickly, Die going fast enough that he's nearly gagging on it. He's sucking so hard that he's drooling around Crowbar, his eyes fixed up on Crowbar's face. "Oh fuck, Die."

Snowman watches, fascinated. She leans in, barely holding that blanket close as her head comes down near Die's. "Do you like this?" Snowman asks Crowbar, answered as Crowbar groans when Die brings his mouth all the way down to the base of his cock. She reaches out, touching Die's face and coaxing him off of Crowbar's cock. "Let me try."

"Snowman-" Crowbar warns her, but she just leans in anyway, fitting her mouth over his cock and sliding it down, sucking on him like Die did. She goes slower than Die did, but if he's being honest, it almost makes it a little better that she's taking her time. Snowman pulls her mouth off and licks her lips. "Like that?"

"Yeah... you've... you're close," Die is staring at her mouth too, and he shakes himself out of it. "You need to... use your tongue more. Like this-" And Die swipes his tongue over the head of Crowbar's cock before sliding down and bobbing quickly. Crowbar's head thumps against the wall. Die pulls off. "See? Just like th-"

Snowman kisses Die and Crowbar watches transfixed as they kiss one another, Die shy at first but quickly warming up. When they pull off, Snowman says. "Like that?" And Die just nods. What she means is made clear as she sinks her mouth on Crowbar's cock and her tongue does the same damn thing Die's did. She pops off after a few bobs, glancing up at Crowbar. "Are you going to come?"

"If you keep doing that? Yes," He glances back and forth between them. "H-how about you try him on for size, then we come back to this? Just... give me a little break." It's risky, if they take too long, he might get blue balls, but he'd rather risk it than come early.

Snowman drops the blanket, and while Die's gawking at her breasts, she slides Crowbar further onto the bed, making some room. Crowbar ends up lying on his back, arms pinned between him and the bed. Die is pulled up off the floor and she undoes his own pants, this time yanking them down and off of him. "W-wait, I-" Die blurts out, but Snowman's too quickly. Crowbar glances over, his eyes going wide as he sees exactly why Die had kept his pants on.

There's a tail there. A little, tiny, waggling tail. Crowbar's heard of people having them, but he's never seen someone with one. It's there and it's real, and Crowbar has a hard time pulling his eyes off of it. It's only as Snowman settles in Die's lap that he pulls them away, watching as Snowman sinks onto Die's dick. "Oh. That's different," Her voice is lusty when she speaks, and she pushes Die back until he's lying beside Crowbar. Snowman's hands press down on Die's chest as she starts to roll her hips. She glances at Crowbar. "His cock's straighter than yours."

"Is it? That'll be fun then," Crowbar's still thinking about that tail of Die's. Now's not exactly the time to get into it though, not when Snowman's taking her turn. She knows what she likes by now, and she's not shy about it. Die's hands awkwardly lie on the bed, like he can't decide what to do with them, and she sets the pace. They might as well be tied behind Die's back like how they're tied behind Crowbar's for all he's using them. "How's it feel?"

"Good. Different," Her hands stay steady on Die's chest, supporting her as she experiments with speeds and angles. "He's not as thick as you. But. It's easier to sink further down on him."

Die's breath comes quickly and shallowly as he looks up at Snowman, his fingers twitching. "I. You're. O-oh. Oh god."

Snowman's hands slip off of his chest, taking hold of Die's hands and pushing them up over his head, right against the top of the bed. "Should I tied you up too-" Her eyes go wide and she glances at Crowbar, a smile curving over her lips. "You should have felt how hard he twitched."

"Use a pillowcase," Crowbar suggests, his own cock twitching slightly. Snowman picks up one of the pillows, shaking it out of the case and then carefully tying Die's wrists together. Die's breathing only gets faster, until it sounds like he might hyperventilate. He leaves his arms lying loosely above him, and Snowman starts rocking again. She reaches over and wraps a hand around Crowbar's cock, stroking it gently. Her touch is more than welcome. "Fuck, that's good."

"Don't come. I'm not finished with you," She reminds him, squeezing her thighs around Die. His eyes bug out and she leans down closer, her face hovering just above his. Crowbar's eyes slide down to her legs and how they're flexing. "You either."

Die nods eagerly. "Okay. Whatever you want. A-anything you want."

"Just stay hard. That's all I really need," She twists her hips. Snowman must have found the sweet spot because she adjusts her knees and leans back just a little, grinding on him from the angle. She lets go of Crowbar's cock, just so she can set that hand on her breasts, pinching her nipples. Crowbar and Die are both staring at her, and Crowbar memorizes exactly how she looks like when she's on someone else's cock.

"She's pretty great, isn't she?" Crowbar says to Die. Die glances over at him, and Crowbar really only has a moment to recognize the look on Die's face before Die kisses him. Crowbar hesitates a little. He's done plenty of things with women, but never with men before. Of course, it's a little late to be hesitating, especially when he's just had Die's mouth on his cock. But... somehow that felt different. Less... well. Less queer than kissing.

Die doesn't seem to notice, or if he does, then he doesn't care. He kisses Crowbar with as much enthusiasm as he had when sucking Crowbar's cock. And though he's reluctant, Crowbar relaxes into it, kissing back. It's actually not that bad. Die's a very good kisser, not too wet, and with just enough tongue to make it really interesting.

It's easy to get distracted kissing him. It's only when Snowman starts making those soft muffled noises again that they break off and look up at her. "There she goes," He whispers into Die's ear, watching as Snowman rocks quickly on Die's cock. Her eyes shut as she comes, though Die's just get wide with shock as her body jerks around him. Crowbar wants nothing more than for his hands to be free so he can wrap them around her body and hold her tight as she orgasms.

Snowman presses one hand against the wall as she slowly pulls herself off of Die. She smiles shakily at both of them, grabbing hold of Crowbar and pulling him upright. Snowman moves from one cock to the other and Crowbar groans as she slides him deep inside of her. She's still clenching rhythmically from her orgasm and he has to fight not to just lose himself inside of her. Snowman leans in close, giving him a brief kiss on the lips before backing up. "I think you should fuck him."

Die whines at the words, and his cock glistens. "Please. I-I'd. I like if you did."

"Fuck. I," His eyes glance up at Snowman again. Her eyes are only partly open, and it hits him hard in his hindbrain just looking at her. "Okay."

She reaches behind Crowbar, her fingers finding his shirt and unknotting it. Snowman gets it off of his arms and tosses it on the floor. The moment his hands are free, Crowbar can't help himself, twisting them around so she's lying on the bed, and thrusting deep into her, hands happily touching all of her body. She gasps, thighs wrapping tight around him. "Crowbar!"

"I know, I know. I will. Just. In a moment," He kisses her, hands cupping her breasts and squeezing them. Crowbar can hear Die's breathing go fast again, can feel his eyes staring at the both of them. It would be so easily to get lost inside of Snowman. But he'll have plenty of times to do this with her in the future. Right now, he should really be working on Die, and on doing exactly what she wants.

Crowbar reluctantly pulls back after another kiss, leaving her sprawled out on the bed. He moves over to Die, settling himself between Die's legs. He's not actually sure how to do this, and he finds himself hesitating. Die seems to have an answer though, twisting around on the bed. "u-um. You should. Sit with your back against something. And help me up."

"Alright..." Crowbar helps push Die up and gets behind him, pressing his back against the bed's headboard. Die glances over his shoulder to see how close Crowbar is before scooting towards him. Die's hands are still tied in front of him, and his tail is front and centre, thumping softly on the bed. It's only as Die starts to get up that Crowbar gets his eyes off the tail and his hands on to Die's waist to keep him from falling over. "So... what now?"

"Just. Slowly let me down," Die's meaning is clear, his legs bent at the knee. Crowbar glances at Snowman, resolves himself, and just does that, slowly bring Die near his cock. His eyes keep glancing at the tail waggling, but he keeps his mouth shut, not saying a damn thing about it. Die at least is paying attention, and when Crowbar's cock brushes up against him, it's Die that gets his legs spread and positioned. "Slowly-"

"Heard you the first time," Crowbar carefully lets Die down. His cock slowly slides inside of Die, and his breath catches in his throat as Die settles onto Crowbar. He's tight and hot, and going slow only makes it more obvious. Crowbar's hands clench at Die's hips, still holding tight to him even as he finishes settling in. Die's back presses up against Crowbar's chest and his head leans against Crowbar's shoulder. Crowbar struggles to get a hold of himself. "Holy fuck Die."

Die just sits there for a moment, clearly as affected as Crowbar. Snowman's staring at the two of them with a hungry look on her face, one of her hands reaching out and resting on Die's foot, bringing Die back to the here and now. He glances down at her and brings his head up, slowly starting to move.

It's not like fucking Snowman. Crowbar's hands have to help Die out as he fucks himself on Crowbar. He's tighter, and there's not the same lubrication. It's still good though, really fucking good. Die knows what he's doing in a way that Snowman's still just figuring out, and unlike her, he seems to be concerned with how much Crowbar likes what's happening. He keeps glancing over his shoulder at Crowbar, looking for some sort of approval.

"You're- fuck, you're good at this," Crowbar tells him, and that seems to be exactly the sort of encouragement Die's looking for. His knees dig into the bed as Die moves up and down, and Crowbar's own legs stay out of their way, giving Die plenty of room. Crowbar can't help but wonder exactly how often Die's done this. If the amount he drank tonight was any indication, it's a lot more than Crowbar ever has.

Snowman slides closer to them, her head slipping out of view. It's easy to figure out what she's doing when Die suddenly goes still and his eyes get big. "Oh g-god, Snowman-"

There's a soft wet sound from Die's front, and then Snowman speaking softly. "Just keep doing what you're doing."

"Just give her a warning before you come," Crowbar lets his fingers dig into Die's hips, giving them a bit of a push to get them moving again. "I haven't come in her mouth yet, so she's not used to the taste."

"F-fuck, um. Okay. I'll. Y-yeah," Die starts rocking down onto Crowbar's cock again. Crowbar puts his head over Die's shoulder and takes a peek down. Snowman's lying on the bed in front of Die, her mouth sucking gently on Die's cock. She doesn't even notice him, too intent on trying to imitate what Die did to Crowbar, just at a slower pace.

Crowbar takes a bit more of an active role, getting his own knees under him and thrusting forward. He's repaid with Die clutching around him and whimpering. It's a good sound. The tail between them keeps wiggling as well, rubbing against Crowbar's stomach. It's distracting, but in a good way. Crowbar puts his mouth up against Die's ear as he starts to thrust, whispering directly into it. "I can't help but wonder if you knew what was going on before you barged in here. It's awfully convenient that you waited until after Snowman and I got started."

"I-I. I didn't. I mean. It- I didn't plan it exactly," It's not an outright denial, though Crowbar has a feeling Die isn't lying when he says it wasn't planned. Though it also probably wasn't an accident that Die closed the door behind him. Maybe he really didn't know Snowman would be in here. What Die says all but confirms that. "I j-just. I was going to talk to you. I didn't know Snowman was here until- I saw her-" He whines softly, hips jerking forward.

"You came in here to fuck me. Were you always planning on blowing me?" Crowbar gets a nod from Die, and he slides one hand off of Die's hips, up to his chest. It's easy to pinch a nipple and get another sound from Die. His hips keep thrusting into Die. He's not going to last much longer, not with Die making these noises, and Snowman going to work below, and Crowbar's cock buried inside of Die's ass. "Is this what you wanted then?"

"B-better. It's. So much better," Die moans and his head lolls back against Crowbar's shoulders. "Both of you a-are. Better than just one. You're both. So good. So so good. Oh g-god. Snowman, wait. I'm-"

Snowman pulls her mouth off and Crowbar keeps his head peeking just over Die's shoulder, watching as she wraps a hand around his cock and strokes him quickly. Die's whining just gets loudly with each stroke and his hands pull at the pillowcase as he tries to grab on to something. Crowbar does his best to time the thrusts with Snowman's strokes, just to hear Die get louder. He doesn't last much longer than that, gasping and coming in the same breath. He spurts over Snowman's hand and wrist, and she just keeps stroking him through it.

Crowbar grits his teeth as Die clenches around him. He tries to hold off, but it's downright impossible with Die coming around him. Crowbar resists as long as he can, and when it becomes clear he's fighting a losing battle, he digs his fingers deep into Die's hip and fucks him as hard and quickly as he can. Die's boneless and pliant, held up only by Crowbar's hands, but he still clenches tight around Crowbar as the aftershocks pass through him. And just as Crowbar hits the edge, that fucking tail squirms between them and that's all she wrote. Crowbar thrusts in deep as he can go and comes so hard that he can't see for a moment.

"O-oh! Oh!" Die moans, overcome by everything. Crowbar ends up leaning against the headboard to keep from dumping Die on the bed and just collapsing on top of him. They stay there for a moment before Die slowly starts to move, pulling himself off of Crowbar. His tail isn't wagging nearly as hard, now lazily shifting back and forth across his ass.

Snowman takes hold of Die's arms, undoing the pillowcase restraints and pressing a kiss against the side of his mouth. She leans in to Crowbar and does the same with him, though Crowbar turns his head and makes sure the kiss is a lot more than a peck on the lips. He rests his forehead against hers, doing his best to put everything he feels in that kiss.

It's only when he stops to get a hold of himself that he notices Die's already off the bed, grabbing hold of his pants and tugging them on. Die should be a complete mess from this sex, but he's trying to dress and slink out the door like it's nothing. "Hey. Where are you going?"

"Um," Die pauses, clearly a bit confused. He leans against the wall to keep from falling over while answering Crowbar. "I... back to my room."

"Just like that? Wham bam, thank you ma'am?" Crowbar nods towards the bed. "It's not going to kill you to stay."

Die's staring at Crowbar like he just suggested something extraordinary and magical instead of the usual decency to be expected after you've fucked someone. Though, maybe this isn't the way it usually goes. Crowbar doesn't give a damn. He's not the sort of fellow who kicks someone out of bed, especially not when he's just come inside of them.

"There's plenty of room," Snowman coaxes him over, cleaning off her hand with the pillowcase before holding it out to Die. "And I'll take you to your room in the morning."

"U-um. Okay. If... you're sure-" Die waits for the no that never comes, and when he finally becomes sure of their sincerity, he shoves his trousers back down. He glances at the light. "Should I get that?"

"That would be lovely," Snowman moves towards the inside of the bed and Crowbar shuffles over into the middle. Die gets the light and crawls in beside Crowbar. It's a tight fit, but they do get all three inside, Snowman simply spooning Crowbar and Die fitting himself up against Crowbar's chest. It takes a bit of maneuverings to get the blanket over them, and Crowbar really hopes Die isn't a blanket hog because he sure as hell doesn't want to wake up freezing in the morning.

"So," Crowbar say softly to Snowman. "That crosses off threesomes and light bondage. And sex with a man for me."

"Sex with more than one man for me," She wraps her arms around his waist. Die looks at Crowbar, and then back over his shoulder, to Snowman. She addresses him directly. "Anything new for you?"

"I think Die's too experienced for any of this to be new to him," Crowbar yawns, settling his head against the coverless pillow. "This is just downright boring."

"No. No, it. It wasn't boring at all," Die curls in tighter. Crowbar doesn't bother fighting to stay awake, not when he's ready to sleep. Still, as his eyes are sliding closed and he's drifting off, he still hears Die's response. "It's... it's the first time I've been asked to stay..."

Crowbar really doesn't have the energy to bolster Die's self-worth right now, but he does manage to side an arm under Die, wrapping it around his back and pulling him close. Even with his eyes closed, Crowbar can feel Die smile, and hear the friendly waggle of his tail. Tomorrow, when they're sober, he's going to get a better look at that thing. And have a chat with Die about sleeping with people who don't throw him out of bed when it's done. For now, he'll settle for this; comfortably pressed between Snowman and Die, enjoy the warmth from their bodies.


End file.
